But whether it's society, biology, anecdote or sheer loneliness that prompts our sexual interactions, it's deeply unhelpful to tell women that they are privileged just because they can walk into a bar and have casual sex. Unfortunately, this transition is not successful for as many as 1 in 3 women. If you experience the symptoms of fear around someone with your preferred brand of sexual organ, your brain will assume that your heart was racing because you were sexually attracted to that person. If you're into odd sexual studies, like me, you'll probably be thinking of the Russell Clark experiment. What promotes healthy female and couple sexual desire are positive anticipation and a sense of deserving sexual pleasure. You can see fun examples of it on YouTube , and Clark himself repeated it in , and as recently as with similar results. Clark believed there was an evolutionary reason: Both groups were given a number where they could reach the female assistant in case they required any "clarification" on the surveys. This motivating, empowering approach involves the woman valuing her unique sexual voice and their couple sexual style of desire, pleasure, eroticism, and satisfaction. However, when both people recognize the inherent complexity of couple sexuality rather than demand perfect sex performance sexual desire will thrive. Freedom, choice, and unpredictability facilitate sexual desire. The answer to that question can determine who you end up sleeping with more than any of the "important" factors you pay attention to. Rekindling Desire second edition. This tells us nothing about levels of female sexual desire, or whether we are indeed in a privileged position when it comes to sex. I like sex more than some people, but less than others. Second, not only does the bar example prop up unhelpful stereotypes about men that they always want sex , because biology and testosterone and grrr , it also drives a hammer-blow into the self-esteem of any woman who has been turned down for a casual shag. Sexuality energizes your bond and reinforces feelings of desire and desirability.