And to be honest, the person who was supposed to bring joy into my life was actually the person who was tiring me out the most -- Mark. Remember, this is not just about getting what you want, or giving it to your partner. Feb 22, at 1: Feeling less connected than usual. A lot of sexual anxieties can stem from the feeling that any kind of sensual touch will have to lead eventually to full sex. It may be that one partner has never felt safe in sexual situations — as a survivor of, or witness to, sexual abuse or violence, for example. If one of you is finding things are progressing too fast, you could slow down. The random candle-lit dinners when I came home from work. Likewise, if your issues with sex stem from issues in your relationship itself, relationship counselling is a really good way of unpacking these. Coming home and finding out that my man picked up my dry cleaning or took my car in to get an oil is one of the sweetest, most romantic gestures he could do. But the reason why why couples stop having sex is actually an easy problem to solve. Listen to what they say. More often than not, it is the insecurities that it gives rise to that need the attention. Feeling angry, sad, hurt, disappointed, embarrassed, guilty, shameful — and believing that you have to keep it to yourself, hide it from your nearest and dearest, perhaps even from everyone, is a dreadful burden to carry and can have a big impact on your sexual desire. I know, it almost rhymed but not quite You get the point.