Males who have been sexually abused are often confused about their sexual orientation because of the trauma. Most people, however, think that if a man accepts money for sex with another man he cannot be straight. The goal is to distinguish behaviors from identity. If I wanted someone that acts girlish, I got a wife at home. And not just because of the reaction they fear from their partner. There are heterosexual men who crave affection and attention from their fathers and seek sex with men as a way of getting that male nurturance and acceptance. For straight men, the ways in which they have sex with men — and how they interpret it — reinforce their straightness. I drive a pickup and like guns. I have a year collection of Playboy magazines. I found this to be the saddest element of my study: These days, BDSM is a well organized community with its own rules and customs, educational materials and activities. Silva found 19 white, straight-identifying men in rural, socially conservative regions of five Midwestern and Pacific Northwest states Missouri, Illinois, Oregon, Washington and Idaho through Craigslist M4M casual encounter ads. They prefer women but will play with men. Seven explained that sex became uncomfortable or undesirable for their wives, and sex with men helped relieve sexual desires. Many types of men engage in same-sex relationships for a variety of reasons, which Joe Kort identifies for the reader. Both straight, bisexual and gay men suffer from this when growing up where their father was not around, unavailable, unaffectionate and perhaps may have been abusive.