For some, death puts the drive on hold. Despite this fact, more than half of the women said that it would not occur to them to bring up the topic of sexual bereavement with a widowed friend and, even if it did occur to them, they would probably be too embarrassed to bring it up — even with a close friend. Grief and Sexuality Without knowing anything about the state of your relationship with your husband before your mother died and how it may have changed since, I can only offer you some general information about grief and sexuality, in hopes that it will shed some light on what really may be going on with you. Source [Reviewed and updated April 19, ] A reader writes: There can be an urge to get as much out of life as possible, to get it while you can. Since I am a researcher by trade and training, I began to look at various sources for help with my problem. Popular memoirs by widows went silent on the issue of sexual bereavement. If you are a man, you may want to take away her hurt and make her feel better, most often by distraction or trying to lighten her mood. Attempts to talk to friends, family and therapists, are sure to be awkward and bumbling at first, but the more people acknowledge sexual bereavement, the better we will be at finding ways to address it and, perhaps, finally break through the silence that surrounds it. Sex and grief, while uncomfortable, hush-hush subjects, are intertwined. But there are times when sex can comfort, heal, and reassure. Likewise, being intimate with your spouse can reassure you of his presence and constancy in your life. But who would want to? Most women thought they would want to talk with friends about this aspect of their grief, but more said they would rather have the friend be the one to raise this topic first. And then I knew that I was, in fact, on firm ground. But the desire itself was a bit different from my usual motivations.