Or let your fingers linger and stroke around her entrance to take advantage of the massive amount of nerves there. Instead, I quietly simmer with frustration and occasional, barely contained rage, simply unable to comprehend how two people who have so much in common and share so many tastes should have fallen so badly out of sync on this one issue. And you will feel more in love with him through it too. Do not be passive aggressive, stay in the relationship and be bitter and resentful, or, worst, be unfaithful. Generally, if one wishes to encourage a certain sexual behaviour in a reticent partner, it is best to first increase the erotic charge between you by pleasing each other in well-established ways. But sex was created by God to be a beautiful demonstration of love and oneness with between spouses. Kiss her lips, neck, breasts, the inside of her thighs. Then you can very gradually introduce novelty. It just seemed dirty and germy to me. Get creative with your tongue The flat surface on top of your tongue is soft and flexible, whilst the tip is harder and can exert more pressure. Leave your experimenting and playing around for the beginning. The clitoris is sensitive at the beginning, so going straight at it hard and fast with the tip of your tongue is likely to turn her off. Plus, getting her aroused orally means less pressure on you to last forever during the main event. For a lot of women though, sex is already a chore they have to do at the end of the day on top of everything else job, taking care of kids, housekeeping duties, etc. She is not stupid and she knows, even if you're in a coma and your dog just died, you want oral sex, and 2. Are you connecting with her, talking on a deep level, taking her out on dates?