It's not always about the money. Watching your wife have sex with another man may be a next step, or progression, from watching yourselves have sex by having a mirror on the ceiling during sex, then using a video camera during sex, and then finally watching one's spouse with someone else. A friend, and a wife interviewed in my first book, told me that when she was working as a manager at a brothel, one of the women always called her husband on her cellphone, before bringing a man back to her room for a "party. Leopold posted ads in German newspapers of the day, looking for "energetic young men" to befriend and pleasure his wife. Masochism was named after him. Sex with him has never been very good. Julianne Moore's character Emily 'cuckolds' Cal Image: Newbies who are starting out should take it slow and not dive in head-first. And that is the definition of cuckoldom. You will both work on that, together. To my mind, a man who is that focused on the size of other men's penises really doesn't qualify as all that straight. I will tell you that in the research for my book, I heard lots of varied reasons for this desire from various husbands. Getty Read More Woman explains how to become a 'born again virgin' — and how to avoid temptation Cal says: Check out Craigslist, and you'll see Leopold's modern counterparts Leopold's interest in the experience was specifically the humiliation aspects, of being cuckolded, treated as weak, lesser, and not a real man. I also speculate that there is a degree of vicarious experience here - by being a part of the experience, the husband gets to vicariously experience what it's like to have that greater sexual capacity, and identifies in a strong manner with his wife and the essence of female sexuality in a way that most men never experience.