Seeking professional help is key if you want change This wasn't an option for me simply because as time went on, it went from being the elephant in the room, to the sole focus of all my resentment and anger, and I didn't want to go back; I just wanted out and a normal life, but if you do both want to get your relationship back on track, consider counselling. But if your partner really doesn't give a damn about you or the marriage and the two of you are just co-existing, then you really need to think about what you want the rest of your life to be like. Men are more quick to arousal. Touch each other every day. After that, intimacy needs to be worked on. For these couples, infrequent intercourse isn't a sign of flagging intimacy or reduced attraction. One particularly insistent blog post on the website of the celebrity heath professional Dr. When I say look at your partner with a new set eyes I mean paying attention. On the contrary, many women struggle in sexless marriages. For me, being in sexless relationship for a large part of my thirties meant that I didn't have the option of extending my family, and when a few months of no action ultimately became the entirety of my most fertile years, resentment and anger set in. I should have been more open with other people I didn't tell anyone I was getting less sex than a nun until I was actually out of the relationship, but with hindsight, I could have saved myself a lot of inner turmoil by confiding in someone — a problem shared and all that. Depression, anxiety, health and stress can all leave people less than inclined to get sweaty under the duvet. Conventional thinking tells us that relationships between young people are supposed to be hot and heavy. Once they began having intercourse, they settled into a pattern of sleeping together between two and four times a month. But as the months and years go by the passion starts to fade until what's left is the occasional obligatory doona dance, if ever. And we have a phenomenal sex life," she said. Please select a newsletter We respect your privacy.