So, here you are, both feeling incredible shame and inadequacy. Stress at work, problems at home, managing relationships, all this can take a toll on the best of men. He won't do it. And the most common complaint? Performance Anxiety and Loss of Libido Men report two major problems -- anxiety about performance and climaxing too early, according to Laumann. Now it's been 15 months since they've had sex. Email On your wedding day you assume you'll have a long future together filled with love, intimacy, maybe kids, and of course, sex. Susan says sex was infrequent before Connor was born and afterward, Chris seemed less and less interested. When you go out to a dinner party with other people, you get the chance to see your partner in a fresh light. Reconciling the Erotic and the Domestic. It might be anger toward a spouse or a physical issue, but all say whatever the cause, the worst thing to do is nothing — especially when sex is a priority for your partner — as it is for Suzan Cummings. Build Anticipation to Combat Loss of Libido Sure, the idea of sex being utterly spontaneous -- no planning, just the heat of the moment -- sounds great. If she weren't so critical, Jim says, he might be turned on to his wife. He and Lori have two children, and they do have sex maybe 10 times a year, which is too seldom for Lori, but plenty for Jim. You almost never have sexual thoughts or fantasies about your spouse. You may even question your femininity and sexuality. How your room is decorated isn't exactly the most important thing, but how the bedroom smells and how clean it is are both extremely important elements when it comes to intimacy.